Road Signs

I have always believed in what my dad and grandmother refer to as 'road signs':  Little confirmations that let you know you are on the right path.  There have been several 'Road Signs' already along our journey.  Some seemingly insignificant, (foster care coming up in random conversations, movies, things like that), some a little more "in your face".  I thought I would share a few the more significant signs here.

Early in our journey, before we even really committed to anything specific, I had a dream.  A memory, really, a simple but meaningful memory re-lived while I slept.  The actual event happened 15-20 years prior and although I had completely forgotten about it until the dream, I realize now that it was exactly duplicated in my dream.  My grandma (Kettles) and I were in her house visiting when out of the blue she told me, "I'm surprised that you haven't gone down to channel 4 and gotten one of those "Wednesday's Child"'s."  (I was young and single at the time, not even in a relationship and hadn't yet met JD). I laughed and jokingly reminded her that they don't hand out children like a Watchtower Magazine.  When she realized what it sounded like, she laughed too, but then quickly became serious again and repeated, "I'm just surprised you haven't done it already, but you will".  Fast forward 20 years to the day I revealed our plan to my mom and dad.  My dad's response?  "I'm surprised you haven't done it already".  (Like mother/like son).

LINKS:

Sandy Kulkin - The following Sunday, Sandy Kulkin was a guest speaker at church.  He is on the board of the Bair Foundation, an organization based in Pennsylvania, on High Street -- the same street we live on in New Mexico.  The Bair Foundation helps place foster children in many states, including New Mexico.  He speaks of the importance of foster care and give some very encouraging words relevant to our recent decision.  Click on the link to hear his message.

Doug Roberts Prophecy - I mentioned previously, my first ever experience receiving a prophecy.  Doug Roberts is a powerful man of God.  You can learn more about him at www.soundthetrumpet.org or at www.timewithdoug.com, but click here to hear the prophecy that he spoke over me.  Remember, JD and I had not even considered the possibility of foster care at the time this prophecy was spoken over me.

JD's mom, Norma always called me "Sunshine", so every time I hear the song "You are my sunshine" or see a reference to that nickname, I always think of her.  She passed away in 2003, but we still feel her presence very strongly, especially in times of extreme sorrow or extreme joy, or when we are need guidance.  As we were considering whether or not to commit ourselves to foster care, I was surfing the internet, randomly Googling different foster care-related topics and praying for guidance when I cam across this piece of clip art:

Called to Foster Care
Our Personal Testimony

Foster Care is a big responsibility and not for the faint of heart.  It is not something that we can do on a whim or even something that we can do of our own strength.  JD and I truly believe that foster care is a calling from God placed on our lives and our hearts.  My dad said it best….we did not choose to be foster parents, we were chosen to be foster parents, and we are honored. 

This journey began long before we knew.  "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose. I appointed you…”  Jeremiah 1:5.  However, JD and I were brought in on the plan a few years ago.  Here is how it happened:

We were married in October, 2000.  Like most newlywed couples, we talked about having children one day.  We planned for it, we looked forward to it, we tried….and tried…and tried…. All to no avail.  Several years passed and we finally began to accept the harsh reality that we would probably never have (biological) children of our own.  It was a horribly painful experience, but so private and filled with feelings of guilt and shame that I felt uncomfortable sharing it with anyone except JD.  For years, I had pondered how you can miss someone so badly that you have never even met, but now not only was I missing them, I was actually mourning over them.  I had experienced the heart-wrenching pain of losing a loved one all too often, and this was no different. 

2008 - It all hit me at once, like a freight train, one night.  Waves of excruciating pain swept over me from the inside out.  My knees buckled under me.  I collapsed in the floor, clutching my heart and sobbing, the outside world completely obliterated, feeling like someone had literally reached into me and ripped my soul in two.  Not only can you miss someone you have never met, but you can mourn their loss as well, and it is every bit as real as mourning the loss of a loved one who has lived.

Oct. 2011- After some mourning and healing time, we began to consider adoption.  We talked to private and non-profit adoption agencies and international adoption ministries and quickly learned how ‘out of reach’ that option would be.  Starting costs, $25,000, and it goes up from there.  Well, that was not for us, but we left still believing, "Maybe someday...."  

Shortly after, we began to consider adoption through foster care. We attended an orientation and left very discouraged.  We were told that we would probably foster thousands of children before ever getting an opportunity to adopt and when and if we were ever able to adopt, it would be a teenage child with several mental, emotional, and probably physical disabilities requiring special treatment the rest of their lives.  That was not for us either.  Again, it was clear to us that we were in the wrong place. 

Nov. 2011 – I had never met a real, live prophet of God before, but we had a guest speaker at work, Doug Roberts, a man with the gift of prophesy. JD and I attended together. Among other things, this man kept saying directly to me, "people will come to your house for help".  I felt a bit like Mary when the Bible says she took the gift of the wise men and "pondered them in her heart".  Gold and oils and embalming spices?  Not typical baby gifts.  She must have not completely understood, but knew that one day she would.  Well, I "pondered" these words in my heart. I saved an audio recording of the prophecy and thought about it often, though I never really understood it.  I knew it was special and meaningful that I would understand it someday.

May, 2012 – God began to lay on my heart to reconsider foster care.  Needless to say, after our previous experience, I was less than enthusiastic.  We already tried that.  It didn’t work, but God kept gently prodding and finally, and a little reluctantly, I mentioned it to JD.  As I expected, he looked at me as if I had lost my mind.  “We tried that already” he reminded me.  “It didn’t work”.    My reply surprised both of us.  “I think we need to reconsider foster care, not for the possibility of adoption, but for the sake of foster care; To help the kids and families, not for us”.  Those words were straight from God because I had never even thought about it that way before.  JD must have sensed where this advice was coming from and agreed to go with me to another orientation.  

Another couple in the orientation stated that it was their second orientation as well and this time was much better.  More encouraging…more positive.  They were in our first orientation with us.  We concurred, as did several other couples.  The social worker explained that CYFD had changed some of their policies and procedures.  They now do concurrent planning, so that adoption is a greater possibility.  They have a need for foster care for infants and preschoolers, not just teens.  Of course all the children in foster care have experienced trauma, that is why they are there, but the "hard cases" require extra training.  We would start out doing what they call ‘basic foster care’. We left our second orientation encouraged and excited about fostering.  Not adopting, but fostering; ministering to children and their families who need our help, knowing the entire time that the goal was for the child to return to their biological family.  Yes, that would be emotionally hard for us to see, but that is the goal and would make room for us to help another child and their family.  Eventually, an adoption possibility might open up for us, and if it does, we will seriously consider it at that time, but until then, our goal is to help these children and families until they can be reunited.  “People coming to my house for help”.  I began to more fully understand my prophesy. 

It was around this time that God began revealing to me perhaps the reason that JD and I are unable to have children of own is because the child who really needs us is already out there somewhere.  

We are waiting for you, little one.

Foster Care Announcement

There are many ways to create a family.

We have chosen to build our family through

Foster Care.

Every year 250,000 children enter the foster care system. Currently nearly 200,000 of those children are waiting to be adopted.

Just like a biological child, we are not guaranteed any number of days with these children. We may or may not have the opportunity to adopt our foster child.  Just as with biological families, love for our foster children is born in our heart and begins to grow, even before we meet the child. This makes him/her our real, chosen, beloved son or daughter, if only for a short time.

Foster care is complicated. Each child’s situation and story is unique. Why their first family was unable to care for him/her is private. For a foster child, this is their story to tell when they are ready, and with whom they chose to share. What we can tell you is that we are not special people because we have chosen to be foster parents, rather, we are blessed to have been given the opportunity to parent these children, however long they are with us. It is a calling on our lives that we have determined to fulfill.

We are thankful for the loving support of our family and friends as they continue to lift our family up in prayer and learn and educate themselves about foster care.  We are more than happy to answer any questions you may have for us.                                                                                                                                                                       

LET OUR JOURNEY BEGIN!